Tell me if this sounds familiar: You finally get the motivation to purge your house of all the needless clutter, tight-fitting yoga pants, and leftover furniture from your kid’s latest bedroom refresh. As you sit down on the treadmill you can finally reach and gaze out at the mountainous donation pile taking up half your garage, you realize you now have to haul all that stuff to Goodwill.
And then that inevitable thought hits…
I know…I’ll put some of it on the Free Site and help out my fellow neighbors! Yes!! Great idea!! And I can decrease the number of items I have to load into Black Momba by having someone just come pick things up from my porch. Win-Win! Yaasss, girl…golden idea!!
Or is it? I’ve played this game many, many times, and it always ends in me screaming, “NEVER AGAIN!!” It’s like I wait just long enough between attempts that I forget how creepy, needy, and completely inconsiderate people can be.
Between the illiterate, who ask questions clearly answered in your post, to people who walk off with items on your porch that are not part of the deal, my faith in humanity is once again tested. And don’t even get me started on the “can you hold it until such and such time” crowd. They almost never show up, and you end up with a beanbag sitting on your front porch for three days.
FYI – Stray cats like beanbags.
If you see something on your local Free Site that you just have to have, please ask yourself these 4 basic questions. If you answer “no” to any of them, then for Peet’s sake don’t waste anyone’s time by contacting the person offering the item!
1. Can my vehicle haul the item under consideration?
2. Is my vehicle even operational right now?
Ø Not sure? Go outside and drive it around the block to verify you don’t have a conveniently mysterious flat tire or dead battery.
3. Am I available to pick up the item per the request of the person offering it?
4. Do I live in the same area as the person offering the item? If not, am I willing to travel the distance required?
Case in point: My posting for a free daybed frame. The post included multiple photos and everything one might need to know, including you-haul criteria.
Out of the five people I attempted to arrange pickup with, this is a summary of our interactions:
Person A: Suckered me into choosing her by being super excited and saying she could come that day, then a while later asked me if I thought it would fit in her Kia Soul (dimensions in the post, mind you). Then after she figured out she couldn’t fit it in her hamster hauler, she asked me to hold it until morning while she tried to find a truck. It was late and I had already told her she could have it, so I agreed. Then, after I messaged her the next morning to confirm a pick-up time, she got back to me at noon with “Oh! I forgot to answer you. Ya…can’t make it work. My bad.”
Person B: Said she could come the same day then never showed up, meaning I wasted the remainder of my Sunday Person A hadn’t already wasted.
Person C: Asked me what town I lived in. (indicated in the post)
Person D: Asked me what size mattress the frame fit. (indicated in the post)
Person E: Asked me right away what my address was without so much as a hello. A quick profile check indicated this (fake) person lives in Isfahan, Baharestan. Yes, I had to look that up, and yes that’s a long drive for a free daybed frame. Hard pass, Craigslist Murderer.
WHY OH WHY IS IT SO HARD TO GIVE AWAY FREE STUFF? No skin, err money, in the game, that’s why. People have no incentive to show up because it was never going to cost them anything in the first place. They don’t care that you just sifted through a stack of DMs to weed out potential murderers. They don’t care that you told 10 others that the item is a tentative pickup, missing out on what could have been “the one.” Instead, they ride that free-stuff endorphin wave and then avoid the embarrassment of contacting you when they can’t follow through. Or…they just. don’t. care.
Needless to say, I’m done with Free Site posts for good. I’m in no mood to be murdered over a bed frame and I’m too old to put up with people who can’t read or request that I be at their beck and call when I’m the one doing them a solid. And I’m done spending 10 days on a task that should have only taken a weekend to accomplish.
So, there’s your answer: The price of free is 10 days.
I tried to Keep it Golden, Girls, but damn, Gen Pop is annoying.
Golden Girls Episode Recommendation: S5E10 “All that Jazz”
Like this Post? Please Share 😊