When Apps Attack

August 4, 2021

It’s a well-known fact in my household that phone apps hate me. One of my local restaurants has one that, for the life of me, I cannot figure out, so I just make Kid #2 do the ordering. However, the task of ordering grocery delivery falls solely on me. Every two weeks, I submit a huge order that treads dangerously close to the $500 limit because we try our best not to eat out and make dinners at home.

I’ve always hated grocery shopping, so when COVID birthed the option for delivery, I didn’t balk. I still pop into my local produce market for my weekly roughage, but for the big bi-weekly stockpile, I’m now a delivery convert, and I’m okay paying extra to avoid the shopping experience. I feel like I’m on an episode of Supermarket Sweep, and every time I pick the cart with the wonky wheel. Seriously… Every. Damn. Time.

One of my biggest pet peeves is when stores move merchandise around (sorry to my girlfriend who’s job it is to do that), or when manufacturers change what their label looks like. It throws me for a loop, and I end up wandering the aisles looking like a noob.

And while I may get to avoid those peeves now, the option for delivery created fun new ones. Now my OCD has to deal with whatever groupings my groceries were bagged in, and I have to re-learn what sizes to choose because apparently, my brain can’t visualize what 64 ounces of mayonnaise looks like. No one needs that much mayo!

But none of that compares to the frustration I felt when my grocer “updated” their phone app last week. Everything was different, and I had flashbacks to that time I asked a restock clerk where the sour cream had been moved, and his “Okay, Boomer” face when I suggested he hang a sign that said which aisle it was moved to.

Anyhoo, I did my best to submit my order and felt pretty confident about its accuracy.

Then I got the confirmation email.

For the love of….

Why on earth did one item get marked for pick up? Now I have to put on pants and drive to my grocery store for a carton of Goldfish? Not gonna happen.

I’m still not sure how I messed that up, and probably never will.

Keep it Golden, Girl. Even when your kids complain about missing goldfish because you’d rather eat $6.68 than drive to the store.

Golden Girls Episode Recommendation: S6E4 Snap Out Of It

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