When Kid #2 was accepted to all three colleges she applied to, we were ecstatic. She graduated high school with a 3.8 GPA, is focused and determined, and confident to set out on her own. And when she told us her selection, we weren’t surprised.
The University of Hawaii at Manoa (Oahu), Home of the Rainbows and a surfer’s paradise. A dream vacation destination surrounded by lush flora and colorful fauna and encapsulated by picturesque beaches. Who wouldn’t want to live out their college years there? I can’t speak from experience, but I’m guessing cup-o-noodles taste a whole lot better when eaten under a palm tree and this is your view:
But once you snap out of the hot surfer boy daydream you realize you can’t just load up the minivan and drive five hours to the fun-filled weekend of college move-in events that I saw so many other parents posting pictures of. Panic set in as I began to realize the lists I’d made weren’t nearly detailed enough and my control issues reared their ugly heads at the thought of not being able to play captain obvious tour guide.
I mean, how was she supposed to find the health services building if I didn’t draw her a map of how to get there from her dorm room? How would she learn the local bus system? Who’s going to teach her shark self-defense? Who’s going to kill the spiders in her room? What if she gets her hair tangled in that roller brush again like she did when she was ten and can’t get it out?
I know. And here’s an actual picture of my husband’s face as he listened to my irrational blabbing:
Figuring out the logistics of how to simply get her there and navigate move-in day was enough to worry about. Good luck trying to find a Wikihow on that. Throw in the fact that COVID was still raging and I just added ever-changing protocols to my already lengthy list of things to learn.
Tip #1: Upload all your pandemic info for your flight well in advance. By that, I mean don’t wait until 11 pm the night before your 7 am flight. The form is annoying and lengthy – and also required.
One of the biggest decisions we had to make was who would escort her. After paying tuition, there wasn’t a whole lot left to also extend the adventure into a vacation. So, I flipped a two-headed coin and called tails. My husband is much better at going with the flow than I am, and this trip was going to require a certain level of calm that I can’t achieve without wine.
So, hubby and Kid #2 arrived as planned and got into their first of what would be many long lines, beginning with car rental. They were lucky to get one but were boldly told there would be a $200 charge if the car was returned more than 1 gallon empty.
Tip #2: Honolulu is ridiculously expensive and plagued with long lines. After hearing my husband’s opinions of the stupid costs of a latte and the 45 minutes he waited every morning to get one, I felt pretty good about NOT being in Hawaii and instead at home alone (even if I was terrorized by a squeaky yard swing).
Move-in day went more or less as planned except for a few extra Target runs, but there are several tips that my hubby and Kid #2 wished they knew:
1) Take extra t-shirts. It’s HOT and you sweat buckets lugging stuff around. It’s for this reason that my hubby now has 2 new Hawaiian t-shirts hanging in our closet.
2) However long you think it takes to drive somewhere or grab a bite to eat, add an hour to that. And add $20 while you’re at it.
3) Almost all parking is in paid parking garages.
4) The homeless issue is not unique to Portland. Waikiki beach is no longer a postcard.
5) When the college says you have three hours to park in front of the dorm for move-in, they mean it. After that, you have to park in a garage 1.5 miles away and carry everything from your car, in the heat, up a hill, then up 7 floors of a dorm tower with no air conditioning.
6) No dorm air conditioning, which wasn’t surprising since the islands typically rely on “cross-breeze AC.” But half of her room windows are broken and won’t open. There are tape “X’s” on them so it’s not like the maintenance crew doesn’t know they are broken. Kid #2 even heard rumors of kids getting heatstroke just sitting in their rooms!
7) Broken dorm showers mean riding the elevator to other floors to try and find one that works. Better secure that towel!
8) Huge. Flying. Cockroaches.
Honestly, I’m hella pissed about 6-8. For the amount of tuition and expenses being charged, you’d think the college could at least provide bug-free, air-conditioned living accommodations with working showers.
I almost wrote a letter, but honestly, I feel like I’d be wasting my time. So instead, I’m putting my thoughts here. The brochure is misleading – period.
Keep it Golden, Girl. Your kid may be in a crappy dorm room, but she’ll survive. And so will you. Pop a cork and watch Point Break.
Golden Girls Episode Recommendation: S1E26: Empty Nests
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